Dr Esmarilda Dankaert - Dr Esmarilda Dankaert

Therapy secrets revealed: What clients wonder and therapists don’t say

April 16, 2024

“What is most personal, is most universal” – Carl Rogers As a practicing psychotherapist, I’ve spent years delving into the depths of the human psyche, offering a safe space for clients to explore their innermost secrets, shame, emotional pain, and deepest confusions. Yet, behind the curtains of confidentiality, ethics, empathy, positive regard, unconditional acceptance, and authenticity, there exists

Loneliness and belonging: What therapy has taught me

April 9, 2024

“We are all just walking each other home” – Ram Dass I started this week’s newsletter off writing about the strange nature of the therapeutic relationship, but then found myself questioning the strange nature of our modern relationships. In an age dominated by screens, social media, and artificial intelligence, online connections seem to have replaced our genuine human

The self-help hoax: Why you remain stuck

April 2, 2024

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict” – William Channing Do you often find yourself buying yet another self-help book that you hope will finally be the book that will give you that Aha! moment in trying to improve this one thing that you have been struggling with? Or do you sign up for yet another online

Emotions: A weakness? The truth behind your tears

March 26, 2024

“The more anger towards the past you carry, the less capable you are of loving the present” – Barbara De Angelis “Not now”, I tell myself. “Hold it. Deep breaths”. I can feel tears trickling towards the bottom of my eyes. My view gets hazy. I refuse to blink. Fearing that a blink would push the tears down my cheeks;

I should have this figured out already!

March 20, 2024

“The hardest part is not finding out who you are, it is accepting that which you find” – Carl Jung I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard clients criticise themselves with the thought “I should have had this figured out already!”, or “I cannot believe that my parents’ way of being still have

To therapy, or not to therapy? Is psychotherapy “right” for me?

March 18, 2024

“Psychotherapy is a sanctuary; a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief” – Kay Redfield Jamison Client: “I really don’t know if therapy is actually “right” for me, or if I just need life coaching”Me: “What makes you think you are not “right” for therapy?” Client: “Well, I guess because I

The Future of Self-Discovery: Using Technology and AI

March 6, 2024

“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” — Toni Collette How self-aware are you, really? Ever wondered that? Well, if you can answer the following two questions, you are well on your way: Who am I? How am I seen by the world? If you can answer these

Have we over-therapised ourselves and the profession?

March 4, 2024

“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly” – Mahatma Gandhi Client: “But I’m doing all these things and I still feel so lost. Like I don’t feel like I’m any closer to knowing who I really am!” Me: “Have you tried to perhaps instead of “doing” more, “being” more?” Client:

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