“Overthinking, also, best known as creating problems that are never there.” — David Sikhosana
If you read the biographies of most successful athletes, performers, entrepreneurs, and leaders, you will inevitably find that they all grappled with perfectionism in some way, shape, or form. Yet, despite their perfectionistic tendencies, they managed to work with them rather than against them.
Now, let us get one thing straight—perfectionism is not about being neat and detail-oriented, and having things “orderly”! That definition is outdated and, quite frankly, completely incorrect. The perfectionism I am talking about is rooted in fear—fear of shame, judgement, and abandonment. It is not the fear of doing things imperfectly, it is the fear of being imperfect. The fear that others will see you as the flawed, inadequate, shameful and—heaven forbid—ordinary human that you are.
The Paralysis of Overthinking
One key trait of perfectionism is overthinking. And if you struggle with perfectionism, you will know just how paralysing it can be—trapped in a mental battle of your own making. It always fascinates me that we never overthink positive scenarios, right? Overthinking is exclusively reserved for catastrophising worst-case scenarios.
There is a common belief that overthinkers prepare for the worst by conjuring up all possible disasters and devising clever solutions for each. And yes, that is partly true—overthinkers are phenomenal problem solvers! But the truth is that overthinkers rarely select the best solution. Instead, they fixate on the consequences of every possible decision, caught in an endless loop of evaluating which consequences they are more willing to endure.
And what does this breed? Anxiety! Because anxiety is the fear of a perceived threat—not an actual one. The threat exists in your mind, not in reality. Overthinking is not the same as worrying. Worrying is focused on a specific concernand is usually short-lived, whereas overthinking is an endless, torturous overanalysis of both past and hypothetical future events.
What is interesting about the anxiety that accompanies overthinking is that underlying fear is not necessarily about making the wrong choice or dealing with the negative consequences. It is not failure that perfectionists fear, it is the meaning they attach to failure!
Take, for example, the classic case of preparing for a presentation. You are not merely afraid of stumbling over your words. You are afraid that stumbling will make you look incompetent. You are afraid that others will finally see through you and confirm that lurking fear—you are an impostor! Perhaps you are afraid that making a mistake will lead to job loss and financial insecurity. The fear is not about the action, it is about what the action represents.
Overthinking As Your Superpower… and Kryptonite
Believe it or not, overthinking can be a superpower. Picture yourself sitting around a table with a group of high-achievers, all discussing a major decision. You, the overthinker, have already run through several worst-case scenarios and their corresponding solutions before anyone else has even finished forming their thoughts. Overthinkers are exceptional at spotting patterns, anticipating risks, and devising strategic responses in record time.
However, this superpower becomes a handbrake when you get stuck in thinking mode. Unfortunately, with emerging technologies and the overwhelming influx of information, the perfectionistic overthinker has never had it worse! Not only do you have to contend with your own mind, but also an entire internet of additional worst-case scenarios and solutions to contend with!! It is no wonder perfectionists become addicted to research. “I just need to find out a little more before I make a decision…” – sound familiar?
Your Antidote to Overthinking? Action!
Yes, I know, you may not like that answer. But the truth is, the only way out of your head is through action. When you find yourself spiraling in overthinking, harness its power by setting up a time limit, writing down all the possible fears, consequences, and solutions, and then stop!
Then, take what you have spewed down on paper and move forward with what is within your control. When fears about consequences arise (because they will), write them down. If there is something you can do to mitigate them, then go do that. If not, recognise them for what they are—perceived fears, not real threats.
The beautiful thing about fear? Once you lean into it, it dissipates. Your brain will soon collect evidence that, regardless of how your decision played out, you are still here. You survived. Your limiting beliefs did not come to fruition.
This is why I am such a passionate advocate for self-knowledge. Once you understand yourself—your personality, your defense mechanisms, your values, and your strengths—you are far more equipped to step into the world as your authentic self, free from the handbrake of perfectionistic overthinking. And that, my dear perfectionistic overthinkers, is where your true power lies.
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