“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say.”
— Paulo Coelho
Ever feel like your motivation just packed its bags and ghosted you? You remember being that unstoppable force, the one who charged ahead, crushed goals, and thrived on high-energy, go-getter mode. And then, out of nowhere — bam! It is like you have face-planted into an invisible wall. Now, your to-do list feels like a personal attack, you are running on empty, and you cannot shake the nagging thought: “What is wrong with me?”… “Where did my old self go?”
As a psychologist, I see this all the time. The immediate response? Panic. Maybe it is burnout. Maybe your brain chemicals are out of whack. Maybe you just need a better morning routine (or an entire life overhaul). And sure, sometimes those things play a role. But what if, just what if, this low mood is not a malfunction, but a message?
What if this slump is not something to be numbed, silenced, or “fixed” but rather a signal that you have drifted too far from who you are? A flashing neon sign from your deeper self saying, “Oi Darling! We are so out of alignment. Are you paying attention?”
Depression, exhaustion, and that creeping sense of “meh” are often not the problem, I believe they serve as powerful messengers. And if you stop trying to outrun them for a second — if you actually sit with them (yes, I know, terrifying) — you might just realise they are pointing you right back to where you need to be.
Navigating back to yourself is probably the anti-depressant you have not tried! So, instead of trying to eliminate your smoke signals, appreciate them for the warning. Here is how…
It Will Suck, For A While, Until It Doesn’t
When you fall out of alignment with yourself, your purpose, values, and emotional connection to your self, it often manifests as depression. Also, depression rarely just arrives unannounced, anxiety usually paves the way, oftentimes blending into an exhausting ebb and flow of unease and despair.
Medicating these symptoms can make functioning easier, but if you avoid doing the work, you only delay the inevitable. Antidepressants, while helpful, can also numb emotions as a side effect, leaving you even more disconnected from your already fractured self.
The best thing you can do is offer yourself compassion (ok, bear with me perfectionists!). Acknowledge that what you are feeling really sucks. That this experience is frustrating. That you wish you could just “snap out of it”. Instead of berating yourself, recognise the enforced stillness as a gift. Your inner self is forcing you to pause, to reflect, to take stock, because something has gone off course. As you begin realigning with what matters to you, these symptoms will gradually lift. And one day, without fanfare, the clouds will part, and light will filter through.
Change Your Energy
We are all responsible for the energy we bring to others. How you show up around others, will have a direct impact on their emotional state–intentionally or unintentionally. So, be very mindful of the energy you bring to others.
Your brain is a master of association! When you feel low, it will link together all other situations in which you have felt low, reinforcing your despair. Thoughts trigger emotions, emotions reinforce thoughts. It ends up in one vicious cycle.
This explains why, in a slump, it is nearly impossible to recall what once inspired you. So, how do you break the cycle? You place yourself in environments that used to make you feel inspired or good. Even if you do not feel the spark immediately, your brain will begin linking back to those positive experiences. The more you lean into these moments, the more your neural pathways reconnect with energy, purpose, and meaning.
Ask yourself: What previously made me feel good? What did I used to do that made me feel confident? What made me excited? List these things, then actively seek them out.
Stop Sulking, Yes Really
Ok, this may sound harsh coming from a psychologist, but seriously, no one is going to come and rip you out of this low, uninspired, lost, depressed, anxiety-laden space. Firstly, it is not their job, secondly, it is such a disservice to yourself! Why? Because are you really going to outsource your life path to someone else? Do you really believe someone else out there knows better about what you need and want from life than yourself? Really?!
Now, I am not saying just fake happiness and pretend life is all rainbows and unicorns. What I am saying is, when you feel those waves of anxiety and depression come, invite them in. Acknowledge their presence. Remind yourself this is temporary, give yourself time to just feel it out. If you feel it is getting heavier — take action! It is arguably the quickest way to get out of your head and scoot off the anxiety.
Focus on Others
Many people struggle to find “their thing”, you know, that elusive passion or purpose, because they expect to discover it in thought and solitude. But meaning is found in others. Read that again — others.
Still not convinced? Ok, imagine you create a brilliant AI company, but no one uses your technology. Would you still feel fulfilled? Or you open a successful pastry shop, but there are no customers. See, we do not create for ourselves. We create for impact, for contribution, for others. If you fixate only on what you want, you will inevitably hit a wall. But if you look outward, towards serving others, you will find a depth of motivation that no self-focused pursuit could ever provide.
The best way to realise your strengths? Surround yourself with good people. They remind us of our value, our impact, our uniqueness. Not everyone will “get” you, and that is ok. Find your tribe. Nurture them. Make them feel valued. Check in on them, instead of always waiting to be checked in on. Be the friend you wish you had.
Remove The Outcome
When you are feeling out of alignment with yourself, the worst thing you can do is obsess over the perfect outcome. Trying to force yourself back into alignment by making it all about the outcome is like trying to sprint up a mountain in flip-flops. It is exhausting, discouraging, and honestly, unnecessary.
Instead, think of finding clarity as a game of hot and cold. You do not need to see the entire path ahead — just move toward what feels a little warmer, a little better. Take micro-steps.
When you fixate on the finish line, you end up overanalysing every step, get overwhelmed, and either freeze or forceyourself through something that feels miserable. And nothing drains joy faster than that.
For example, if you want to learn illustration but keep comparing yourself to professionals, you will never start. If you are focused solely on mastery, you will feel defeated before you begin. Instead, let it be messy. Doodle for fun. Copy your favourite characters. Experiment. If you detach from the need to be “great” and just let yourself play, improvement will come naturally — and so will your joy.
So, the moral of the story? Do not strangle your progress with perfectionism. Get moving, keep it light, and let alignment find you.
In a Nutshell
Feeling lost, uninspired, or depressed is not necessarily a sign that something is broken within you. More often than not, it is a message — an urgent call from your inner self, pointing you toward realignment. Instead of numbing or resisting these feelings, let them guide you home. Your key to realignment lies in: Awareness. Reflection. Action. And most importantly, giving yourself permission to get it wrong before you get it right.
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