“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.” ― Gabor Maté In my previous article, I explored how our psychological symptoms — like depression, anxiety, addiction, and relational struggles —
“The land of possibility is a better place to make your home than the realm of expectation will ever be.” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru When people seek out psychotherapy, it’s often because something in their life feels “off” or has become unbearable. It might be a gradual accumulation of symptoms like anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive
Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to, what is best for me. ― Paulo Coelho There is no question that our lives are changing at an unprecedented pace, and here, I am not just talking about technological advancements and artificial intelligence (AI). Rather,
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” — Victor Frankl One of the strongest predictors of happiness in life is the presence of close, meaningful relationships with others. This is supported by the longest research study on human happiness to date. Conducted by Harvard University, the
“You have been critising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay As a practicing psychologist, I keep being amazed (and sometimes downright bewildered) by how universally we excel at being our own worst critics. From a very young age, we are taught to
“Easy way feels good but fails to elevate you. Difficult way is overwhelming but guarantees to rise you.” – Hiral Nagda In an era where facing a mild inconvenience is considered a full-blown crisis, where the mere thought of a challenge sends people scrambling for their emotional support teddy bears, it is
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you” – Anne Lamott Do you feel that despite your best efforts, it seems like the harder you push yourself, the more elusive your attention, focus, enthusiasm, and productivity become? Leaving you feeling perpetually adrift in a sea
“When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you” – Unknown With a graceful touch, I guide the crayon along the edge of the black border, ensuring the vibrant colours stay neatly confined within its boundaries. Each stroke brings a sense of accomplishment, filling the blank spaces with hues that dance against
“What is most personal, is most universal” – Carl Rogers As a practicing psychotherapist, I’ve spent years delving into the depths of the human psyche, offering a safe space for clients to explore their innermost secrets, shame, emotional pain, and deepest confusions. Yet, behind the curtains of confidentiality, ethics, empathy, positive regard, unconditional
“We are all just walking each other home” – Ram Dass I started this week’s newsletter off writing about the strange nature of the therapeutic relationship, but then found myself questioning the strange nature of our modern relationships. In an age dominated by screens, social media, and artificial intelligence, online connections seem to
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict” – William Channing Do you often find yourself buying yet another self-help book that you hope will finally be the book that will give you that Aha! moment in trying to improve this one thing that you have been struggling with? Or do
“The more anger towards the past you carry, the less capable you are of loving the present” – Barbara De Angelis “Not now”, I tell myself. “Hold it. Deep breaths”. I can feel tears trickling towards the bottom of my eyes. My view gets hazy. I refuse to blink. Fearing that a blink would push
“The hardest part is not finding out who you are, it is accepting that which you find” – Carl Jung I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard clients criticise themselves with the thought “I should have had this figured out already!”, or “I cannot believe that my parents’
“Psychotherapy is a sanctuary; a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief” – Kay Redfield Jamison Client: “I really don’t know if therapy is actually “right” for me, or if I just need life coaching”Me: “What makes you think you are not “right” for
“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” — Toni Collette How self-aware are you, really? Ever wondered that? Well, if you can answer the following two questions, you are well on your way: Who am I? How am I seen by the world?
“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly” – Mahatma Gandhi Client: “But I’m doing all these things and I still feel so lost. Like I don’t feel like I’m any closer to knowing who I really am!” Me: “Have you tried to perhaps instead of
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are “ – Brené Brown One thing that has come up for me a lot over the past week, and which I have been reflecting on, is the concept of self-abandonment. My preoccupation
“It is only when we wrap ourselves in solitude that we can fully embrace the company of our true self” — Esmarilda Dankaert More often than not, when we feel lost we tend to turn inwards. We isolate as a means to help us better hear our own inner voice — to
“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world” – Toni Collett I find it fascinating how we are so intrigued about the world around us that we will spend so much of our time trying to make sense of it – and others. We want to learn
Take a quick moment and reflect on the two most recent conversations you had. How did you feel following the conversation? What was the tone of the conversation? Uplifting? Heavy? Inspirational? Stressful? Energising? Now, more importantly, did you converse in a more positive or negative tone? Turns out, the words we use have
Something that has come up for me a lot over the past week is the concept of goals and the setting of goals. It seems almost a given that at the beginning of every year, there exists this expectation for us to set goals. In life, setting goals is important, as
We all know the benefits about psychotherapy, but what are the trade-offs? “Therapy isn’t Radio. We don’t need to constantly fill the air with sounds. Sometimes, when it’s quiet, surprising things happen.” — Mary Pipher There is no questions that psychotherapy holds tremendous value for those who are able to
Perfectionism, a reflection of how the self is perceived by others. An attempt on a better understanding of what it really is So, perfectionism … It has become quite the buzz word in the self-development, self-improvement, and self-help world. But what is this term perfectionism really, and what is it
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.” Brené Brown Vulnerability truly does form the cornerstone of meaningful connections. It is only through our vulnerabilities that we truly connect. Vulnerability is the type
As a psychologist, I often have clients who come in wanting me to help them discover their purpose in life. Finding purpose is a great endeavour in life, but if you go about it the wrong way, then you will not only end up despondent (like you have no purpose
Designing effective health behaviour campaigns are essential given that today’s leading causes of death are behaviour-related, and thus, preventable. However, health campaigns can end up being disastrous if the intended message that gets communicated has the opposite effect to what was intended or desired. The main reason behind this ‘boomerang
“You are really ugly” … “You really should not be taking selfies, no camera is made for that face” … “Gosh, look at those teeth, rather keep your mouth shut” … “Why is your hair so curly?” … “You are just a burden to everyone around you” … “No one
We now live in a culture that idolises perfectionism. The pressure to look and be the best is now higher than ever before. Once only to torment a select few, perfectionism has become a wide-spread phenomenon, fuelled by social media, modern parenting practices, meritocracy, and an increased competitive economy. Perfectionism
Across the world, the academic and social pressures on tweens (i.e., pre-adolescent children) and teens (13-18 year olds) have escalated to an all-time high, as have the prevalence of mental health issues among these age groups. When it comes to adults, aspects such as work pressure, unrealistic work commitments, burnout,
As a child, colouring in was probably one of my favourite activities, but I can still vividly recall the day in kindergarten where the crayon in my hand slipped slightly, making a mark outside of the solid black line on my drawing. My lower lip started trembling. Tears started filling
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