Feeling Unrooted: How Commitment Gives Life Meaning

Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to, what is best for me. ― Paulo Coelho

There is no question that our lives are changing at an unprecedented pace, and here, I am not just talking about technological advancements and artificial intelligence (AI). Rather, I am referring to that which used to keep us grounded, connected, and sane: our communities and traditions.

Following the COVID-19 pandemic, life has changed permanently for most of us. However, I would argue that it was the forced disconnection between us during COVID that triggered the dismantling of an already brittle societal structure. Yes, the pandemic formalised remote work, it also gave rise to an array of new technologies that make our online lives easier, and yes, it has opened borders, offering a life of endless possibilities. But with all this freedom, we have walked straight into an existential sh**storm — a beautiful one at that.

In this sea of endless options, we have lost sight of what truly matters. We no longer make decisions based on what feels right in our hearts or aligns with our values; instead, we chase after what others are doing, terrified of missing out. We see Bob and Sarah moving to Portugal and think to ourselves, “Should we go too?”We watch our friends take jobs overseas and wonder if we should start searching for opportunities elsewhere. It all feels so exciting, so limitless — an ocean of possibilities!

But here is the cost of that freedom: we have lost our roots. The safety, structure, and stability we used to find in the familiar — our family, little traditions, religious gatherings, Friday socials — are slipping through our fingers. These were the things that kept us intact, gave our lives meaning, established trust (both within ourselves and others), and became the things that anchored us. In life, without commitment, there is no investment, and without investment, there is no meaning. And without meaning, well… life becomes a hollow shell.

Commitment has become a scarecrow term for many, like the broccoli of adulthood — everyone knows it is good for them, but they still push it around their plates hoping it will magically disappear. People tend to associate the word commitment with relationships and view it as something that signifies a trap. If you commit, then you will be tied down and your options will be severely constrained. But commitment is so much more than that. It is about dedicating ourselves to something bigger — whether it is our work, our community, or making a difference in the lives of others. 

Now, don’t get me wrong — commitment is not about blindly sticking to something when every instinct tells you otherwise. It takes maturity, self-awareness, and a good dose of wisdom to recognise when it is time to stay the course and when it is time to let go. Often, people sense something is “off” from the start but push through, hoping it will all make sense later. However, it is only with hindsight that people realise their intuition or gut instinct was right all along, and they can finally validate their decision to move on.

In addition to this, we have become unrealistically fearful of making anymistakes. Because our lives are so much more accessible, public, and open to scrutiny, we would rather hold back and be safe from judgment. If we do not commit, we do not act, and then we are safe, right? WRONG! Even if you decide to commit to nothing, you will still be judged on something. You really cannot avoid judgement. Accept it! Judgement says very little about you, but everything about the other person. So, let them judge and reveal themselves to you. But here is the truth: not committing to anything is far worse than choosing the “wrong” thing. A life without commitment is a life without meaning, without direction, without roots. You are, in fact, choosing a life that will inevitably feel adrift, disconnected, robotic, and purposeless. 

I would argue instead of more unfamiliarity and options, we need to return to that which is familiar and safe. There is good reason why over the centuries, traditions, rituals, and values have played, and continue to play, a significant role in shaping our societies. They bring us together, creating a sense of unity even among those with differences. There is power in holding hands, in respecting a tradition, and in coming together as one. These are the ties that bind us, the ties that keep us human.

I do not have all the answers to this existential crisis we are facing. I can only see the toll it is taking on our sense of well-being, our relationships, and our overall satisfaction with life. And with AI advancing at breakneck speed, I fear we might lose even more of what makes us human before things get better. But there is hope. Small decisions, small commitments can still have a profound impact. If you are feeling lost, ungrounded, and disconnected, maybe it is time to strengthen those aspects of your life that bring you familiarity, connection, belonging, and safety. Maybe it is time to commit — truly commit — to something that will keep you rooted.

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