“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself” — Paulo Coelho Lately, I have been reflecting deeply on the pervasive nature of people-pleasing. Time and time again, I hear clients say with frustration, “I hate that I’m such a people-pleaser!” It is an admission often
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you will discover is yourself.” – Alan Alda Does it feel like you are pressing play on the same monotonous audio track every day? Like you are on
“Vulnerability is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” – Brené Brown The word “vulnerability” has become quite the buzzword of late, has it not? In organisations, leaders are encouraged to “be more vulnerable.” In relationships, partners are urged to open up and embrace vulnerability. In friendships, it
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.”– Albert Einstein Let me ask you something: When was the last time you just knew something without being able to explain why? Maybe
“To know yourself, you must sacrifice the illusion that you already do.” – Vironika Tugaleva As we stand on the cusp of a new year, many of us take time to reflect on our lives and we come up with a set of new aspirations and goals. Often, this process involves resolutions
“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” – Albert Einstein For most of us, we were raised with the idea that if you were not “book smart” or had “high intelligence”, then you would not amount to much in life, success would be something
“Real connection thrives in the honesty of being, not in the perfection of pretending.” — Harrison Vale Have you ever scrolled through social media and felt like everyone else has it together—flawless homes, perfect vacations, effortless successes? We tend to believe that perfection attracts connection. Yet, paradoxically, it is those who appear perfect
This is, without a doubt, the most controversial article I have written to date. Yet, it is a controversy rooted in necessity—a challenge to the way we have long conceptualised, diagnosed, and treated mental disorders. The existing models that guide our understanding and care for mental disorders, though groundbreaking in their time, are now
“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.” ― Gabor Maté In my previous article, I explored how our psychological symptoms — like depression, anxiety, addiction, and relational struggles —
“The land of possibility is a better place to make your home than the realm of expectation will ever be.” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru When people seek out psychotherapy, it’s often because something in their life feels “off” or has become unbearable. It might be a gradual accumulation of symptoms like anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive
Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose and commit myself to, what is best for me. ― Paulo Coelho There is no question that our lives are changing at an unprecedented pace, and here, I am not just talking about technological advancements and artificial intelligence (AI). Rather,
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” — Victor Frankl One of the strongest predictors of happiness in life is the presence of close, meaningful relationships with others. This is supported by the longest research study on human happiness to date. Conducted by Harvard University, the
“You have been critising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay As a practicing psychologist, I keep being amazed (and sometimes downright bewildered) by how universally we excel at being our own worst critics. From a very young age, we are taught to
“Easy way feels good but fails to elevate you. Difficult way is overwhelming but guarantees to rise you.” – Hiral Nagda In an era where facing a mild inconvenience is considered a full-blown crisis, where the mere thought of a challenge sends people scrambling for their emotional support teddy bears, it is
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you” – Anne Lamott Do you feel that despite your best efforts, it seems like the harder you push yourself, the more elusive your attention, focus, enthusiasm, and productivity become? Leaving you feeling perpetually adrift in a sea
“When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you” – Unknown With a graceful touch, I guide the crayon along the edge of the black border, ensuring the vibrant colours stay neatly confined within its boundaries. Each stroke brings a sense of accomplishment, filling the blank spaces with hues that dance against
“What is most personal, is most universal” – Carl Rogers As a practicing psychotherapist, I’ve spent years delving into the depths of the human psyche, offering a safe space for clients to explore their innermost secrets, shame, emotional pain, and deepest confusions. Yet, behind the curtains of confidentiality, ethics, empathy, positive regard, unconditional
“We are all just walking each other home” – Ram Dass I started this week’s newsletter off writing about the strange nature of the therapeutic relationship, but then found myself questioning the strange nature of our modern relationships. In an age dominated by screens, social media, and artificial intelligence, online connections seem to
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict” – William Channing Do you often find yourself buying yet another self-help book that you hope will finally be the book that will give you that Aha! moment in trying to improve this one thing that you have been struggling with? Or do
“The more anger towards the past you carry, the less capable you are of loving the present” – Barbara De Angelis “Not now”, I tell myself. “Hold it. Deep breaths”. I can feel tears trickling towards the bottom of my eyes. My view gets hazy. I refuse to blink. Fearing that a blink would push
“The hardest part is not finding out who you are, it is accepting that which you find” – Carl Jung I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard clients criticise themselves with the thought “I should have had this figured out already!”, or “I cannot believe that my parents’
“Psychotherapy is a sanctuary; a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief” – Kay Redfield Jamison Client: “I really don’t know if therapy is actually “right” for me, or if I just need life coaching”Me: “What makes you think you are not “right” for
“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” — Toni Collette How self-aware are you, really? Ever wondered that? Well, if you can answer the following two questions, you are well on your way: Who am I? How am I seen by the world?
“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly” – Mahatma Gandhi Client: “But I’m doing all these things and I still feel so lost. Like I don’t feel like I’m any closer to knowing who I really am!” Me: “Have you tried to perhaps instead of
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are “ – Brené Brown One thing that has come up for me a lot over the past week, and which I have been reflecting on, is the concept of self-abandonment. My preoccupation
“It is only when we wrap ourselves in solitude that we can fully embrace the company of our true self” — Esmarilda Dankaert More often than not, when we feel lost we tend to turn inwards. We isolate as a means to help us better hear our own inner voice — to
“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world” – Toni Collett I find it fascinating how we are so intrigued about the world around us that we will spend so much of our time trying to make sense of it – and others. We want to learn
Take a quick moment and reflect on the two most recent conversations you had. How did you feel following the conversation? What was the tone of the conversation? Uplifting? Heavy? Inspirational? Stressful? Energising? Now, more importantly, did you converse in a more positive or negative tone? Turns out, the words we use have
Something that has come up for me a lot over the past week is the concept of goals and the setting of goals. It seems almost a given that at the beginning of every year, there exists this expectation for us to set goals. In life, setting goals is important, as
We all know the benefits about psychotherapy, but what are the trade-offs? “Therapy isn’t Radio. We don’t need to constantly fill the air with sounds. Sometimes, when it’s quiet, surprising things happen.” — Mary Pipher There is no questions that psychotherapy holds tremendous value for those who are able to
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